Stupid mental health stuff

I was sat at home after work and suddenly I didn't feel well. Like, not physically unwell - physically I feel better than I have in a while - but something in my mind. I could feel it gluing me to my seat, so I've taken myself out for a walk to try and clear it.

I remembered that writing things down helps me to organise my thoughts and feelings so that I feel a bit more "normal" again, so here I am.

I think I'm struggling to describe to myself what it is that I am feeling. Irrational? Anxious? Sad? All of the above? More? I want to give up on everything, and yet I do not. Even trying to write down the words to describe it, I feel stupid.

Actually, in just writing the above, I feel slightly less stupid. And less - whatever the fuck it is/was I'm feeling

I have temporarily distracted myself by absent mindedly wandering into a pub, where I have treated myself to a pint of a very lovely peach sour beer, coming in at a very sensible 4% (Though priced at a less than savoury £6.35! Such is London!)

Took out my headphones, and had a brief chat with the bar staff about a cider that reminded me of Campinos. I'm not very good at chit chat, but I suppose practice makes perfect.

Maybe I'll stay for another...